Unbecoming

A few years back I decided to take the plunge into entrepreneur life and start a business. I wasn’t 100% sure what type of business, but I knew from my marketing experience that building a brand from the ground up is tough. And so, I ended up as the owner of a franchise. In hind sight, my reasoning for going this route was sound – the branding was in place, it was a “plug and play” business that was successful in other markets, and I simply had to assume the identity of the business, work my ass off, and it would be successful for me.

I learned that assuming an identity is difficult. Suddenly, I became my business. I had to measure every public statement, I had to ABB (always be branding), I was constantly promoting, selling, and trying to force the business to grow. Did I believe in the business? ABSOLUTELY. I worked tirelessly to make the business succeed – so many hours, so much grinding to make it work. All the while, I felt my authenticity slipping away. And facing each day of not being myself became more and more difficult.

Eventually, I failed. Failing sucks. It is humiliating, psychologically wrenching, and financially damaging. No one WANTS to fail.

My family and friends lifted me up with love and support and told me I didn’t fail… Just moving onto the next chapter… I had tried so hard to make it work… Look at this as an (expensive) learning opportunity…

What has happened since that failure is the greatest gift I could have received. After reading it over and over on Instagram, on Oprah’s magazine covers and wondering will this ever be me?,  I finally am living my authentic life. It must be different for everyone, this “authentic life.” But I guess when you find yours, you know. And it is truly magical.

This quote came across my Facebook feed recently. “Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”

Unbecoming. Maybe it’s worth a try.